stop feeling…

I do not understand 
how i came to be this way 
I am convinced 
I have aways been this way
This tainted soul
rather unremarkable
how else can any of this 
be defined as anything other 
than it is
I wonder the creation 
of my structure 
its purpose
as i wipe the fallen tears
from my work desk
I can let them fall
all of them
as they pour out
because like all the rest 
of the hours of my day
I am alone
even at work too
this is my life now
my skin bruised inderneath
my heart bleeds internally
no one truly cares
thats my reality 
an absolute of a nothing
just this aging form
in the quiet
as the dark falls
even earlier now…

I wish to go
Slip away quiet
for my heart 
feels too 
wrecked and weary
for this world

please stop feeling heart
Oh god 
please. 
stop. 
feeling.  
anything.  
anymore.

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