this is too often true…

It took awhile to get here

and where is here anyway

this alien breath is not me

this monster that cringes

when she walks through the door

what have I become

but a doer and orderer

decision upon decision making

evermor my lifesentence

dole out the work

only to see it is incomplete

half assed finished

pushed aside

put on the side

forgotten

mom will do it

this is the dark side

the ugly side

the exhausting side

no one wants to admit

it’s combative hell

and you want to run away

into the distance

find that place

feel centered and aligned

lay in the arms of beautiful tenderness

loose yourself

bathe in the brightest aura of sky blue

but instead

you undress the layers

unjewel your body

scrub away the day

thinking there is more than this

feel guilty for thinking there is more than this

eat your burrito

let your finger tips caress the keys and speak…

and you walk downstairs to make a tea

in waiting…

This privacy I escape to

where my words lay in hidden fields

I wish it to be more obscure

find you here lingering

yet you have other ventures

other avenues to explore

other means to entertain you

but I still desire your beauty

those few precious words you have written

to go back and read them?

my god you have me stunned in awe consistantly

I wish to ascend to you

to lay at your feet

in reverence

but its selfish of me

my want

my needs

taking breath from you

waiting to fill me

should we end what hasn’t begun

cleave to each other having never met

it was a few words exchanged

that have now turned into many

a place no one enters

except we

I love it there

do you?

a sweet wine

savoring red droplets

yet flowed

lips meant to press

our eagerness must give way to time and patience

we frame uncertainty with a 1/2 plan

and ever so gently

is it love

in waiting…